


BertholdtxReaderxLevi part19 - I see you

by Barbychan



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-11-16
Updated: 2014-11-16
Packaged: 2018-02-25 14:42:50
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,062
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2625566
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Barbychan/pseuds/Barbychan





	BertholdtxReaderxLevi part19 - I see you

_”The Colossal…Titan…and the Armoured..”_

The next sharp scream woke me up. What is it? My head ached.

 

”TITANS! TITANS ARE COMING!”

 

My eyes snapped open and I sat up immediately. Is it a sick joke?! I jumped out of the bed in a second. Levi was already on his feet all dressed up, he was putting on his 3D maneuver gear. He didn’t seem to be excited or nervous at all.

 ”What happened, Levi?” I yelled.

 ”I thought it was quite obvious. The Armoured Titan and the Colossal are coming.”

 My eyes widened and I gasped for air. I covered my mouth.

”What are you saying?” I whispered.

 ”You heard me. Because of you, hundreds of people will die – here, at least.” He looked at me with disgust. ”I would gladly kill you, but I have no time for that.”

”Because of…me…” I choked. My whole body was trembling.

Then it occurred to me. I grabbed Levi’s shoulder.

”What time is it?”

He slapped my hand away.

”Right now I don’t give a shit about the time.”

”Levi, it’s important!” I pleaded. It’s not dark so it must be morning…Fuck, fuck, fuck…I slept in…can it be that it caused Ymir to warn Bertholdt? They got nervous and came here?! No way, it’s too dangerous, they would never do that…

”What are you going to do?” Levi glanced at me coldly, heading to the door.

”Levi…” I could hardly hold back the hard crying. ”I don’t want anyone to die because of me…”

”Then stop your fucking boyfriend.” With this, Levi left in a quick pace.

Damn it!

I rushed to my cupboard and grabbed my clothes. I dressed up as fast as I could. I grit my teeth. What the fuck is that? It can’t be real! Fuck, Bertholdt, just what did you…I put on my maneuver gear and my blades hurriedly. I rushed outside.

I could already feel them coming. Everything was shaking from the heavy steps – no, not steps, these were quicker. Everybody was in hurry, putting up their uniforms and gears. And when I raised my head, I could see…

They were coming.  _They_. And they were huge. A shiver ran down my spine. They were fast, damn it! At this rate… _shit_ …

Suddenly I heard Erwin’s voice.

”Levi’s squad is stopping the Colossal Titan. Mike’s and Hanji’s are attacking the Armoured one. Right now!”

”Commander Erwin!” I exclaimed in despair. ”Please let me help! Something, anything!”

”You’ve done enough! Why did you call them?! I trusted you!” He shouted, grabbing my throat. I’ve never seen him nervous, but now he was furious. ”Aren’t you ashamed?”

”Are you really willing to help us?” I heard a calm voice. ”Then come with us and convince the titans. We even let you leave with them. If they need you that bad, go ahead.”

It was Levi speaking from his horse.

”Erwin, let her.”

He growled at me, then squeezed my neck hardly one last time and pushed me away. I touched my throat with tears in my eyes, coughing violently.

”I don’t care what happens to her, but don’t let them come here.” Erwin ordered nervously.

”Got it.” Levi said, riding next to me. He yanked me up behind him. I groaned in pain; he grabbed my arm way too painfully. Also, the saddle was comfortable. But there was no time to complain. I held onto his waist, though I felt bad because I knew that he didn’t want me there. He only wanted to use me in order to save the others. And I couldn’t argue.

”Let’s go.” Levi said plainly to the soldiers belonging to his squad: the three men, the red-haired short girl and…

Eren?! Our eyes met and we stared at each other.

 ”[First name]…” He started, but Levi wasted no time and squeezed his horse with his calves, leaving the others behind in a second. We accelerated so quickly that I needed to wrap my arms around him more tightly.

  _Because of you, hundreds of people will die – here, at least…_

”Levi?” I asked with dry throat, narrowing my eyes against the high-speed wind. ”What are you planning to do?”

”You should mind your own business. Have  _you_ made up anything useful?”

 ”I don’t know…yet…I think I’ll just tell him to stop.” I muttered.

 The cruel wind took his sarcastic laughter far away.

 ”Great.”

 I buried my face in his back, and I felt his body becoming stiff.

 ”I’m so sorry Levi…it’s all my fault…I didn’t want this, I swear…”

 He didn’t say anything. The pain in my chest grew bigger. I just couldn’t express how ashamed and guilty I felt. If anybody dies, it will be my sin.

 The Colossal and the Armoured Titan were close by now. I held my breath as I looked up at the enormous creatures. I’ve never seen them with my own eyes. Are they really Bertholdt and Reiner? I couldn’t believe it.

 However, I could see the similarities. The Colossal Titan – Bertholdt – was huge. Bertholdt was tall too. As for the Armoured Titan – his skin was hardened, making his body look toned. His hair also resembled Reiner’s.

 The Colossal Titan moved. He was slow due to his size, but we could see that he aimed at us. He reached out his hand directly for us. It he trying to get me…?

 ”Tch.” I heard Levi’s voice as he yanked the rein out to the side and applied pressure on the horse with his leg to change direction sharply.  ”Hold onto me, [Last name]!”

 ”Thanks for warning me in time!” I said through my teeth, digging my fingers in his jacket. ”Also, shouldn’t you let me talk to…”

 ”Other titans are coming, Heichou!” We heard a scream from behind.

 ”Right, Eld.” Levi murmured. The guy called Eld was right, two smaller titans were walking slowly towards us, approximately with the height of 7 metre. He turned his face to me. ”Hold the rein, will you?”

 He didn’t wait for my answer and lifted his right leg. As soon as he stepped on the saddle, he shot his wires. I quickly took the rein to keep the horse under conrol.

 I gazed at Levi. He was flying in a way that it made me think it was a real art. He sliced the air gracefully, drawing his blades. He shot his wires at one of the titans, so he landed on its shoulder, then cut its nape effortlessly. As soon as he finished, he aimed at the next, shot his wires at its neck and repeated the action. This time he didn’t jumped away, he grasped onto the titan’s skin as it collapsed.

 I don’t think it took fifteen seconds. Maybe eleven or twelve.

 ”Levi!” I smiled with relief, riding towards him.

 Then suddenly…

 The Armoured Titan sped up. In the next moment, he was in front of us. I could see Levi clenching his teeth as he realised he wouldn’t be able to get away. The Armoured Titan - no,  _Reiner_ -  reached down. Levi shot his wires, aiming at his legs, but the gear wasn’t fast enough. Reiner got him, taking him in his hand.

In our imagination it’s not like that. We think we have the time to save the person who was captured by a titan. But in reality, they don’t wait.

 Reiner didn’t hesitate or wait either. He squeezed his fingers around Levi, breaking his bones; crushing him totally. Levi didn’t even have time to scream: he opened his mouth but he stayed silent.

 Nothing remained. Nothing but a bloody mess; his flesh and his clothes falling and dropping to the ground through Reiner’s large fingers.

 I shrieked in horror.

 ”Levi!  _Levi_! LEVI!”  I screamed. My face distorted. ” **Levi**!”

 ”That’s it!” I heard a shaky voice. ”I’ll  _fucking_  kill you!”

 Sound of explosion. I looked back and saw Eren turning into his titan form. He immediately made a dash for Reiner, sending him to the ground.

 I felt dizzy. Levi…Levi is…he is…

 ”Let Eren do it! The Colossal Titan is before our eyes!” I heard a yell. ”Get the kid out of it!”

 It was Hanji. Her and Mike’s squad followed her as she advanced.

 Bertholdt…?

 Levi’s squad did the same.

 ”What’s with you?!” The man with short, brown hair from Levi’s squad hissed as he rode past me.

 I blinked and I returned to reality. Levi is gone, and now they want to get Bertholdt! I didn’t know which was the right choice; but I didn’t have time so I just listened to my heart.

 ”Wait!” I shouted, riding after them. ”Wait, let me…”

 Fuck, they can’t hear me, and they already shot their wires at Bertholdt!

 ”Watch out, he can turn into human again, creating dangerous heat!” Mike screamed as he and Hanji were flying towards his nape. Bertholdt turned to them but he was slow, too slow…

No, no, no! I can’t stay here uselessly like I did before!

 But somehow my body went numb. No word could escape my lips. All I could do was stare at the scene.

And they managed. Mike cut the Colossal Titan’s skin and pushed his hands in as the body was falling to the ground.

 ”Hanji, help me!” He growled.

 ”Bertholdt…Bertl…” My lips were shaking. I wanted to move again but I was paralyzed.

 The squad leaders pulled him out. He seemed to be unconscious. He was soaked wet from some liquid.

 Hanji drew her blade.

 I gasped and suddenly regain my voice.

 ”Hanji Squad leader!” I shouted in despair. The Colossal Titan’s lifeless body was on the ground. Mike and Hanji dragged him away since it started to give off awful heat.

 ”Wait!” I screamed as I rode to them. There I quickly jumped off the horse. ”Put down the blade, we…we have to take him back…” Yes, let’s take him back. I’ll make up something later, or Reiner could help us escape…

  ** _Reiner_** …for Levi…I won’t ever forgive you…

 ”We’re killing him for Levi. Then we’re going to help Eren.” Hanji said, glancing at the fighting titans.

 ”Leave him!” I screamed, ready to kill her myself, but by the time I reached down for my sword Mike’s blade was already at my neck. He was faster.

 ”You’re the traitor, aren’t you? Just wait, you’re going to be taken back. Then we tell everything to Erwin. You’ll get your punishment too.”

 ”I’m sorry. I would have loved to study you, but…” Hanji pulled Bertholdt's head up by his hair, then sliced his throat precisely, from ear to ear.

 ”Bertholdt!” I screamed from the top of my lungs. I pushed Mike’s sword away, making my arm bleed heavily but I didn’t give a shit about it at the moment. I drew my blade. Fuck it.  _Levi is dead_.  _Bertholdt is dead_. I’m already dead too…

 Pain. Sudden, strange pain in my stomach; it was so sharp that it made me drop my weapon. I coughed blood and looked down. I saw the tip of a blade.

 ”It’s your fault that Levi died.” I heard a girl’s voice behind me.

 

Petra…!

 

”Oh, and I never liked you anyway.” With this, she pulled back her sword roughly, making me collapse.

 ”Bertholdt…Levi…” I coughed with my last breaths.

**”What is it?”**

 

I groaned in pain. The tears that filled my eyes for a long time ran down on my cheeks eventually. I gasped. This is the end. But why can I still feel everything? If I really concentrate… I don’t feel pain at all in my stomach…Why…

 

**”[First name]!”**

 

That impatient voice.

 

_Levi!_

I  unconsciously opened my eyes, which I didn’t even know were closed.

 I felt like I lost my breath. I was in my bed, in Levi’s room. No titans, no blood. I was covered in cold sweat and tears were pouring from my eyes. I heard my heart beating unusually quickly and loudly in my chest.

 ”Would you stop it already? I couldn’t sleep from your weeping.”

 It was Levi, standing next to my bed!

 I burst out crying like a child. What’s happening now? He was dead..but now he’s here…He…was killed so brutally…

 ”[Last name]!” Levi raised his voice angrily, but I just couldn’t help crying. I couldn’t even breathe properly. I sat up and covered my mouth with my hand, but it was no use.

 ”Tch…” Suddenly Levi lifted me up from my bed and took me in his arms. He went to his desk and simply sent the contents of it scattering on the floor, then sat me down on it. He rested his palms on the desk on either side of my thighs, leaning forward and looking in my eyes. I stared back at him. I’ve just realised that he was half naked; he was only wearing a boxer. My whole body was trembling. My breaths came in short pants.

 ”It’s okay. Calm down.” Levi said. ”It was only a dream.”

 I shut my eyes with a whimper. I could still hear the sound the crushing bones and how the knife sliced that throat. I could still feel the pain of their loss.

 ”You kept screaming his and my name.”

  I felt my tears pouring out from behind my eyelids. Why am I so helpless…?

 ”What happened? Do you want to tell me?”

 I grit my teeth and clenched my fists.

 ”You died.” I choked. ”Y-you both…d…died…”

 He sighed.

 ”You don’t have to cry because of that.” He said, but despite his words, his voice was almost soft. He cupped my wet cheeks in his palms and slowly leaned his forehead against mine. ”Why didn’t you accept Erwin’s offer?”

 I touched his hands that were cupping my face.

 ”Because I…” Suddenly my eyes widened. ”What time is it?!”

 Levi scowled.

 ”Why does it matter?”

 I wanted to push him away to look at a clock, but he kept me in place and leaned backwards to check it himself.

 ”It’s 11 PM. Why is it so important?”

 I slowly exhaled. I thought I was late again…

 Levi rubbed away my tears.

 ”You need to calm down. Try to sleep.”

 He wanted to pull away and step back, but I grabbed his arm.

 ”D-don’t.” I whispered. I pulled him closer and I was surprised when he even let me embrace him. I was shaking violently in his arms and I held him almost painfully tightly, but he didn’t complain. I rested my head against his chest and I heard his heartbeats. I closed my eyes and listened to it. We were staying like that for long minutes in the dark. Finally, I stopped crying and started breathing properly instead of panting heavily.

 ”Thank you.” I breathed into his skin.

 He didn’t answer, just took me in his arms again. I wrapped my arms around his neck.

 ”You’re sleeping with me tonight.”

 I didn’t protest. He laid me down on his bed gently, then moved next to me.

 ”Levi. I want you.” I said quietly.

 ”What? Are you sure?” He asked, his always emotionless voice now confused and surprised.

 ”Or…you don’t want me?”

 As an answer, he was on top of me in a second, kissing me lightly. There were no rough kisses, no pulling hair, he didn’t even use his tongue this time. He shoved up my nighgown and his skilled fingers started exploring my body.

 ”I feel strange…” I breathed.

 ”Strange, you say…” He smirked.

 ”I need you  _now_.” I begged. I needed to feel that he was breathing, he was living…that he was alive…

 ”You’ve just woken up from a nightmare. Slow down, [First name].” He whispered, but my shaky hands were already at his boxer, pulling it down. ”Always rushing things, aren’t you?” Levi sighed.

 ”You’re teasing me on purpose. How is that it’s always what you want?!” I accused him.

 Levi chuckled lightly – yes, he actually did that.

 ”This time I’m not teasing you. And I’m telling you that we’re taking it slow.” He said quietly as he spread my legs and entered me gently. He opened his mouth a bit and closed his eyes. ”Ah I…never thought it would be… this good…doing it like this…”

 I moaned his name as he was moving his hips back and forth, and he grabbed my hands to interlace our fingers.

 ”I like you now.” I whispered. ”Just the way you are.”

 He kissed me and I felt him smile against my lips.

 ”[First name]…I won’t let anyone hurt you…”

   
This time I wouldn’t have called it ’ having sex’. It was making love, and it was beautiful. We had been doing it for longer than an hour. We whispered each other’s name countless times.

 

In the end, I found myself in love with him.  Not that it was a new thing: it happened a long time ago, but I’ve just realised it. I didn’t have the courage to admit it to myself before…

 

…because I loved Bertholdt too.

 

 

 

 

***

 

 

It was 3:15. I didn’t sleep at all, I was afraid that I wouldn’t be able to wake up in time. In the meantime, I was watching Levi sleeping and I wasstroking his muscular back.

 I’ve already packed my things too.

It wouldn’t be a good idea to leave earlier because he might notice my absence.  So I just had to wait.

 I sighed and silently got out of the bed. It’s time to go.

 ”Goodbye Levi.” I whispered, biting my lip in pain. But I just couldn’t resist, I leaned to him and kissed his head lightly.

   
 _I love you._  
  


I grabbed my things and walked to the door quietly to turn the handle. As I thought, it was still open. I quickly left.

 So, to the forest. But when is Ymir going there? Why didn’t she suggest going together? Doesn’t she spend the nights here?

 Bertholdt. Bertholdt…I’ll get to see him again…

 

Levi, please forgive me.

 

   
  
  
  
  
  
  
 _Call me a sinner, call me a saint_  
Tell me it's over, I'll still love you the same  
Call me your favorite  
Call me the worst  
Tell me it's over I don't want you to hurt  
Its all that I can say  
So I'll be on my way


End file.
